"It’s hard not to hate. people…things…institutions. when they break your spirit and take pleasure in watching you bleed, hate is the only feeling that makes sense. but I know what hate does to a man, it tears him apart…turns him into something he’s not. something he promised himself he’d never become. that’s what I need to tell you. to let you know how hard in trying not to cave under the weight of all the awful things I feel in my heart. sometimes my life feels like a deadly balancing act, what I feel slamming up against what I should do. impulsive reactions racing to solutions miles ahead of my brain. when i look at my day, I realize that most of it was spent cleaning up the damage from the day before. In that life I have no future, all I have is distraction…and remorse."